because quite frankly i’m so tired from just doing a little bit of work on just one picture.
the night before we started our self-portraits: i decided it was time to actually take my paper and cover it in blackness. while i would have loved to have taken a picture of me with this process, my phone cover is white and all would not have ended well. It took me about 30 minutes to fully cover my paper in darkness, but i still was not satisfied. i could not get the darkness i really wanted and i let the char koal, the toilet paper, and the the gray dusted paper defeat me. (i do not regret this defeat now as it has really helped me with my shading)
the first day of our self-portraits: i was not staring at a blank page for once, but a page covered in darkness. to me this was less intimidating than a blank page because i had already felt a sense of accomplishment.. this feeling went away fast. i started with the whitest white on my face, the ball on my nose; it seemed easy enough – NO. this was actually difficult for me because it determined what size my nose was going to be -it’s still on the big side. after establishing my whitest white, i tried to conquer the nostrils, it turns out nostrils are NOT ROUND. my mind was taking over what i saw in the mirror and by day to i had figured out of to make my nostrils look realistic. i was not dissatisfied with my work on the first day because i had to start somewhere.
the second day of our portraits: before i start talking about this day, i would just like to say how proud i am of myself for once because of how my portrait looked at the end of this day. for some reason i was more focused today and i wanted my face to start to come together. i think it was because after looking around at other people’s portraits i started to think hey if they can do it so can i. i finally conquered my nostrils and they look real, i’m not lying to anybody when they look at my nose – it is exactly how i see them in the mirror. i also believe that i was able to correctly introduce the highlight of the light on my face into the portrait. i even was able to make my nose piercing look true! i cannot even begin to express how happy i am with what i have done with my portrait at this point.
the weekend before the third day of our portraits: at this point i was still really impressed with what i had accomplished and i really wanted to go to the art studio and conquer more, but we were told not to. all i could do was wait in anticipation for class on tuesday
the third day of our portraits: i came into class happy with what i had already done, but by the time i left i was really frustrated with my portrait. first off i hate looking at myself for two hours – i can only imagine how other people feel. second, proportions although they should be, are not my friend. we do not get along no matter how much i am willing to compromise. my eye was really frustrating to begin to get on paper and my mind was taking over again. almost everyone in the class was starting their lips before their eyes, but i just had to be eager and get to my eyes (because i love them; yes this is narcissistic, but who would not want to draw their favorite feature?). by the en of class, i finally got the size of my eye right, but i still have a lot of work to do. at this point even though i am frustrated, it makes me happy to look at myself and say i’m making you.